HURTFUL NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR #2 - AVOIDANCE

Today, I would like to talk about another negative hurtful behavior, AVOIDANCE.

AVOIDANCE means, as it implies, deliberately avoiding another individual who has attacked us, or preventing the resolution of a problem.

Avoidance is turning your back toward someone who has hurt you or sweeping the problem under the rug. The problem does not go away when we avoid solving it. To the contrary, the problem remains within us and festers, building pressure like the pressure on lava in a volcano. When this occurs it primes us for the next time we are attacked and then we can explode in uncontrolled anger and rage, becoming physical or violent toward the individual who we sense has attacked us. This physical or violent reaction can be as simple as throwing something at the attacker, punching a hole in the wall, kicking in a door, or physically attacking back at the one who has attacked us. This physical behavior can lead to an arrest for DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, a court case, legal bills and/or fines or other court mandates.

People with low self-esteem or undeveloped assertive skills tend to hold things in. HOLDING THINGS IN IS NOT THE ANSWER! Rather, communicating your feelings and needs to the other person is the answer, in other words becoming more assertive.

Many people think that ASSERTIVENESS is akin to AGGRESSIVENESS. This is not true. Assertiveness is not attacking another person as is aggressiveness. I will direct my attention to assertiveness in a future blog on POSITIVE GOOD BEHAVIORS.

Try not to avoid issues. Solve them! Don't turn your back on someone. Solve the problem! Don't go to sleep mad at your mate. Communicate to resolve your problems!

We all face attacks from others every day of our lives. And everyday we will attack others and they will attack back at us. How we respond to those attacks will determine whether we have issues requiring an ANGER MANAGEMENT program.

In our ANGER MANAGEMENT program I teach about the attacks that come at us and those that we use against others.

For more information, please contact

Dr. Steven J. Sinert, Certified in Anger Management
Nevada Anger Management, LLC
5812 South Pecos Road, Suite B
Las Vegas, NV 89120

702 353 1750

www.nevadaangermanagement.com

(c) 2013 Dr. Steven J. Sinert and Nevada Anger Management, LLC